"Business as Usual"​ During a Global Pandemic

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Originally posted to LinkedIn on March 19th, 2020

"It's not 'business as usual', it's anything but 'business as usual' and no one should be expecting that of you. This is big, bigger than all of us, and not something that can be compartmentalized. You need time to take it in and re-adjust to your new normal."

I let these words wash over me during a recent Skype call with my therapist while I felt the boulder of guilt that I had been dragging around all week - in between work tasks, meetings, and check-ins - slowly begin to dissipate.

"There's nothing to feel guilty about. There's nothing wrong with you," she continued.

***

Since I began working remotely, I've been on auto-pilot. I constantly oscillated between extreme unease and stifling guilt at my seeming inability to just "shake it off" and get to work. Every task felt like it was being done through a haze of uncertainty and barely restrained panic. "Will this even matter in a few months?" constantly reverberated in my mind.

This past weekend, a friend introduced me to The Nap Ministry, a community that believes that the act of resting is more than just self-care, but rather, an act of resistance. And truly, in a time where the world feels as though it's folding in on itself, but employers are hoping that everything can remain "business as usual", resting feels like resistance.

And for me, it wasn't just the perceived or unspoken expectations of work that I struggled with. I also had to face the fact that I'm in an extremely privileged position. I still have a job. I get to work. And I get to work from home. I'm three for three. So why did I feel this way?

What right did I have to feel this way?

"There's nothing to feel guilty about. There's nothing wrong with you."

My therapy session was mainly focused on working through the general panic around COVID-19 (and my tendency to catastrophize). But my therapist also wanted to drill into my head that everyone is having a hard time adjusting right now (even if they seem fine), no matter their circumstance. And it's more than normal to need extra time to rest, re-evaluate, and re-adjust. There can be no "business as usual" because there is nothing usual about these times. And while that seems extremely obvious, it's easy to get swept up in the responsibilities of daily life and just... forget.

So, for those of you that need to hear it, there it is. Take the few extra days (like I will be) to rest. Focus on yourself and your well-being.

And to employers: have compassion. Understand we're in trying times and some people need more time than others to adjust.

We're all in this together.

-D.